zaichikarky

Mine sucks so far. : (. I notice that only two of my friends have gotten those rose present things. I guess they're not that popular. Maybe more will be given today. I don't know. I want one. I'm probably not even going to get one from my stupid boyfriend who really pissed me off in the first 5 MINUTES of Valentines day. : (. *emo post*.


Happy Singles Appreciation Day.

Confidence? What inspires it? Forever, I must gloat that I have been a very confident person. The only exceptions are in my manic depression times. Basically that was all of last school year's semester, a few months 11th grade, and a few months 10th grade. One of the most AWFUL things depression does to me is just shatter my confidence. Suddenly I turn into one of those feeble-minded girls who wants nothing to do but curl up in the corner and do absolutely nothing. Perhaps cry, but you know.... people like me just don't know how to cry, maybe it's from years of training... of desensitizing our very nature, but it's no longer natural for me, it's not something I *do* for real. The very last time I believe it really happened was when my mother and I had a massive fight around 2 years ago and she was shipping me off to SAT prep class. Then I broke down in front of the two guys, my classmates, and the teacher. Obviously they wanted to know what the hell was wrong with me. After then, I made a silent oath to myself- never to cry, or at least to die trying before ANYONE would ever see me cry again. Then comes along TG and kind of wrecks those plans. He didn't mean it, and he meant the very best.... but I feel a little cheated in a way, still no one has ever seen me in tears, yet both him and Titus incited silent tears a few times down the road. Still I think what TG unintentionally did was better for me in the long run, I care about him deeply, even though quite a bit I don't feel he returns my feelings....

I kinda got off track... anyway, not crying gives me confidence.... so what else does? Ever since I was in elementary school, I was not a happy child. No one wanted to be my friend because I was different than the other kids- I did stuff on my own, I didn't want to listen to anyone. Hence why throughout those years I was punished for misbehaving FREQUENTLY. But from an early age I learned how to stick up for myself and not to let anyone tell me what to do... well, unless they were an adult. But I had few friends... they changed yearly until really I moved to california and became friends with Kaffi. This was the foundation for my confidence... even though I didn't know it at the time, it only grew as I became older.

Ksenia comes to me because she wants to learn why I act the way I do. She asks me questions all the time.. "Why are you so confident? Can you teach me? How can I be like you? My mother is so confident too, and she is well-liked, I want to be well liked too. Why don't you hang out with people you don't like when you said you judge no one? Do you ever feel lonely?" Is some of the stuff I get daily from her. Her roomate is really... shallow. She already went to spend the night with some guys in Cal Poly 0_o. And really other than me and her, Ksenia doesn't have anyone to talk to. She feels lonely, which I tell her is natural, we all feel a little lonely, but she thinks I'm fine just because I do things on my own just about all the time, unless I can find Alex to come with me XD. She is one of those girls who wants to do more and not be dependant on other people, but needs to work on it.

Sorry, rambling's over. Time to go to my onsite orientation. The hours are LONG today - 12-10 ... Hm, I hope I will like it and things will go well *stretchie* Later, folks.

I go looking at my friends page, and read three entries in a row about what a crappy time everyone has been having. Eep. Now I feel bad that I'm not having a crappy time XD. <3 to all of you, hehe...

Anyway, for you peeps who have this need to know about my love life... it's uh... fine. Actually, it's about 90% back to exactly how it used to be, and I'm sure the cybering stuff(pretty much the last of it) will come back in like... days too -_-. I don't really want that, but I think it's better than leaving and never coming back.I think it's because we can't resisit each other... and can't go on without showing exactly how much luv we have... *siiiiigh* it's kind of hard because I think I got nothing accomplished ~_~. Oh well, at least we have each other. I think the only way I can really feel at ease is if

a. He breaks up with his gf
or
b. I get a bf in college.

Uh, I think both of those are very very far away 0_o. It's harder now because I found out that I actually *want* to try and have a real relationship with him, and he knows this. Whereas in the past I told him I didn't want one... I'm not hoping for the better with that though, I think I have like no chance for one -_-. For now, I think I'll just keep hanging on until I can't take it any longer once more. I hope I can last a while ~_~.

ho hum, and now down to business...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
Manhattan

I don't remember the exact order of things, so I'll just describe most of the stuff we did there during the last few days....

We- SAW TWO BROADWAY SHOWS. One was called "42nd Street". It was a great classic type of musical. And it was unique because this was the very first tap dancing musical I'd ever seen. I really enjoyed it 0______o. They danced really wonderfully. The other musical was called "Rent" and it was kinda a modern musical... VERY weird. Like homosexuality galore, I swear. *snickers*. It had a great plot and nice musical numbers, but the plot was confusing and hard to understand because they sang just so much 0_o. My parents and I found it pretty hard to follow...

We- Went on a few bus tours. I have more to say about them in a seperate entry where I took notes on all of them 0_o. I know, I'm a dorky nerd. But we toured pretty much all of Manhattan and then Brooklyn. There is like NOTHING to see in Brooklyn 0_o. I swear, I don't even know why they even made a tour. Instead of paying attention to the tour guide, I talked to this Hollish guy who was sitting next to me XD. We talked about travelling and stuff... and I told him about American culture and why we generally don't like Canada XD. He told me he was driving to Florida! I was like ";___; take meee!"

One day, we went to se tha statue of liberty and Ellis Island. That was pretty interesting... Ellis Island is like a bigger/better version of our own, local angel island... it was interesting to tour around there and learn about the history of the place.

My dad and I went up to see the Emprire State Building... it was his favorite thing to do, to look down at the bright NY skyline in the dark... There, I talked to some French ladies in line for the first time XD. That was lots of fun and I felt quite PROUD. I wish I could still take French ;_;. My dad said I was good, heh

One night my parents went out and I was too tired so I went and used up the rest of my cellfone minutes on Titus. He was cleaning his house and found his old collection of GAYPORN... He seemed to give me the impression he didn't want it anymore, so I begged him to send it to me for my birthday ^_-. He seemed reluctant to give it to me >:O. I think he wanted to get back into his old hayday of the INSANE MASTURBATION with them. It's like he found an old friend again. Isn't that RIGHT, Titus?

Oh, one other important thing. We went to the RUSSIAN CAPITAL of the US- Brighton beach, Brooklyn. I swear, I've never seen so many RUssians in my life before 0_o. We went into a really cheapo bookstore and bought some books and CDs... fun. And THEN we went into this GREAT hole-in-the-wall little resaurant. Had the best food we had in NYC... probably like ever. I had some borsh and blintzes. They made really grat blintzes, my mom will try to replicate that for me on my bday, heh.

I'm being bugged to do a few things... I don't think I forgot anything, if I did, oh well XD. Later, folks.

Be prepared for looooooots of entries in the next day or two 0_o. I'm planning like 5 or more. And there will be some VARIATION too! Be expecting some picts, Lizar SINGING *gasp* old Russian folksongs, a sort of list, FUTURE DECISIONS, and... some INSIGHTS into my personal life for those of you nosy slices who care.... Right now, though, I'm too tired to do much of anything. I've been getting used to East Coast time for the last week... and beein going to bed before midnight.... so for a few days I will be sleeping at UNIMAGINABLE times 0_o. Guess I won't get to talk to you for a while then, Titus XD. I've met just about all the rest of you peeps online for the last hour. One of you, I don't plan to talk to for weeks/months, but right now, I don't really care : ).

And just as a TEASER for what is in store.... I have ONE PIC of this really ugly BEACHED WHALE that I found on the Brighton Beach, Brooklyn. SO... FUGLY! XD.

MajesticArcanine: http://www.geocities.com/drmaqueen@sbcglobal.net/Sunbathing.txt
MajesticArcanine: LOOK!
MajesticArcanine: it's a beached whale!
MourningSeraph: My mouse is brokeded
MourningSeraph: I can't click it ;_;
MajesticArcanine: ;_;
MajesticArcanine: really? 0_o
MajesticArcanine: jeez
MourningSeraph: yeah
MajesticArcanine: how do you get by?
MourningSeraph: Tab + Alt
MourningSeraph: that's how I'm navigating all my IM windows
MourningSeraph: It just... stopped working
MajesticArcanine: 0__o
MajesticArcanine: oops...
MajesticArcanine: stupid computer -_-
MourningSeraph: yeah
MourningSeraph: what is it a piccie of?
MourningSeraph: There
MajesticArcanine: me XD
MourningSeraph: Oh teh no O_O
MajesticArcanine: a really ugly one! XD

MourningSeraph: poor Arky is teh dead ;_;
MajesticArcanine: so don't worry, you aren't missing out on much
MajesticArcanine: LOL!
MajesticArcanine: I know XD
MajesticArcanine: *ded*
MourningSeraph: (my mouse suddenly started working again)
MajesticArcanine: cool!
MourningSeraph: hmm, that is a nice ass though.
MourningSeraph: ^_~
MourningSeraph: What beach is that on?
MajesticArcanine: one close to here : )
MajesticArcanine: THANK YOU
MajesticArcanine: for the lovely comments about my ass ^_^
MourningSeraph: Your father is obviously wrong about it being fat and disgusting
MajesticArcanine: aww
MourningSeraph: THERE AIN'T NOTHIN' WRONG WITH BIG BOOTY, MOTHAFUCKA
MajesticArcanine: thanks ;_;
MajesticArcanine: LOL!
MourningSeraph: Seriously, I know it sounds weird coming from a white guy
MourningSeraph: but I like back.
MajesticArcanine: *jiggles her arse for you *
MajesticArcanine: *gets all shy* 0____0
MourningSeraph: ^____^
MourningSeraph: Yay!
MajesticArcanine: *cuddle*
MourningSeraph: *cuddle*

*snickers* XDDRocketKoopa: well it is true.. that is a pretty fine-looking ass
MajesticArcanine: LOL
MajesticArcanine: thanks XD
RocketKoopa: but you kinda look like you tripped over
MajesticArcanine: LOL!
MajesticArcanine: it's so funny XD
RocketKoopa: there's a seagull checking out your booty

Now why on earth does everyone think the Beached Whale have a nice booty? >:O. Latrz, slices(I sound too much like Shivs sometimes 0_o)!

Yeah, this probably should be private. And this time, unlike other times, I will edit and add to what I had written in my notebook the night before.

I always like these kinds of journal entries. This will be personal, this will be sappy. It will be very close to last time, when once again, I was writing this all down in *gasp* paper in the middle of the night. But so many thoughts are running though my head right now, I kind of *have* to write them down right now, in some pages of a random notebook I found laying around. This happens to be my AP English Notebook from the last semester, heh. Last time it was my JC history notebook. Okay, enough of this long-arsed intro, time to get into it...

Okay. When I think of my "online life" right now, in truth it all boils down to two guys whom I consider to be my very close friends, and more ! Titus and TG. Since TG already got one of these 0_o, I think it's fair Titus gets on now too. Titus, I would say, he was "destined" to be my friend. I'm serious. He probably doesn't think of our friendship in this way, but I do for several reasons. The first and most important reason goes way back when I was 14-16 years old, mind you, I only met him when I was 17. I *actually* remembered Titus from the original TRHQ, and not being this super posty person I am now, I remember so few people from it. I can't say what it was that Titus posted , what on earth he said, but it was *something* , something that from way back then, I told myself " I want to make friends with him." It was not until I was 17 that I finally did. I'm still 17 btw... heh. omg less than a month now, WOO. *ahem*. What happened next , well, I met him in chat. I went into TRHQ chat back when it was first showing the first rays of dying. It is almost exactly the same right now, in terms of the people who are in it when I go in. I went into because.... I got my few moments of glory with these interviews of people I made. I first made friends with Tako and she brought me into chat. But I discovered that the only place I fit into was the late-night chat where only a few select people were in. There, I guess is the real birth of my next internet life. It still is going on right now... I don't know how long it will last, but I must say it already had evolved. Mind you, I have *always* been Majestic Arcanine... I don't like Pokemon anymore, but even I don't know whether this will ever change. But you see, my *life* as Majestic Arcanine has changed so much. From the time I was at TR Palace and all....

Anyway... I really do remember the first thing I told Titus. Because I was actually being serious.... I said something like "Wow, I really remember you from the old TRHQ, I barely remember anyone from back then, but I remember you." He replied with something like "I feel ... remembered?" I don't know if he thought I was just ebing weird or something, but this is when we first became friends, slowly we began IMing each other outside of chat. I remember I met Titus around the time Yamato ( The guy who destroyed my house XD) and I had that big fiasco, and I remember Titus being the only one interested in that. I had my own crisis after a ferw weeks, but this was the "TG moment", when the two of us first realized how much we meant to each other and all, but Titus was still there, having little to say other thatn " I hope you feel better and do what you need to." After I had decided already I was becoming too attached to chat and other things....

SO almost one year fown the road... Titus is the only person other than TG that I simply *have* to talk to every single time he's on. If we don't talk, I think something is wrong. About half a year ago, we both felt really talkative or something , and he got me to stay up until 8 am- my record thus far. This was the first time he had actually said anything personal to me, and I still have the conversation safely hidden in my computer. Titus is the only online friend who's made me cry, that is until about a week or so ago when TG joined his ranks, heh. But this is kind of strange concidering that I can't ever remember a time Titus has ever upset me or really anger me personally. He *might* have known about the first time... I don't know. But it was towards the end of the school year... I think I was PMSing , but that's the kind of besides the point. I wrote this last speech for speech class and posted it here, hoping to get some comments, although I was afraid of presenting it to the class. Titus was first to comment, and he said something like it's a great speech and I should present it to the class. Suddenly I find myself crying 0__o. Well, anyway, I would not find myself doing that now, if the same thing would happen because of my healthy mental state, but still, at the time, it was kinda strange, heh... The second time... *sigh*. That one was even weirder. No one knows about this. Generally, it was because I missed him, plain as that. It was one of the times he disappeared weeks on end because of his phone bill problems. It got to me because one night TG and Koop had both been hounding me for sexual favors -___-. I'd never even give any to Koop , no matter how hard he tries, besides those photos, heh.

Which leads me to my next thought.... I know Titus and I don't have the same kind of relationship that I have with TG, or even Koop. I don't send him nekkid photos, I don't even give him any kind of "cyber affection". In truth, this is more the real me than how I am with Koop and Teeg. See, the only reason I became so "affectionate" with them was because they started it with me. They slowly became affectionate to me, TG slower than anyone XD, and I just had to respond because one, I thought it was sweet, and two, I wanted to do it for them because it shows I care about them. Whatever friendship I have is Titus is differnt, it is special, I value it. Another reason I'm writing this is because I can't really tell it to him personally. It's just not a thing we discuss... I guess a part of me is afraid he will just say something like "This conversation is UNMANLY, please REFRAIN from speaking further". He probably wouldn't do that, but I'm still uncomfortable. I tell TG how much I care about him on a daily basis and he does the same to me, giving me all sorts of cyber affection at the same time. I don't have that with Titus, and I am alright about it, it's just fine.

Still, I tell Titus just about everything. Things that I don't tell TG even... He always seems to be the sole receptor of when I have problems with TG... Sometimes he doesn't know what to tell me, but he's always there, and that's what really matters. Even though he doesn't approve of the the way things are between me and TG, he only tries to protect me. He only wante me to be happy and unhurt with whatever I do. This makes me a bit sad he doesn't have a girlfriend of his own XD. I don't know if he's lusting for one or anything, but I think he will be a very good bf and support this unknown girl greatly.

He is pretty strong, yesh... The girly hair means NOTHING XD. I make fun of him for his overuse of the word "MANLY" , but I only really do it because I think it's so cool XD. But yeah... I think it takes a certain kind of "manly" person to deal with some of what he deals with so calmly. I think the last few days have been pretty near-hell for him, but he handles it... I don't know if I could do that. I can only hope I have strength only close to his...

I should be wrapping this up pretty soon, I don't know who will read all of this besides me, but I felt the need to write it at ... not evern want, but need... at 4 am, heh. I let friends go sometimes, I thought about Nyar today, who was once a close friend of mine I don't really even talk to anymore. I probably could see myself letting go of Titus sometime down the road. But right now, I'm just grateful I have him as a friend. He is more than a good friend... but I don't think I've ever even had a romantic inclination to him. It's hard to explain. Titus is somewhere is the middle of a great friend and an older brother I can look up to for support... I don't know if I can keep him like this forever, or if I will have to let go, but I know one thing: I'm glad he is my friend right now.

How in the last couple of times when I talk to a certain person, I get so angry I want to smash things and tell them I hate them, never want to talk to them anymore, bla bla bla. Or get so angry that I cry from this said anger. Last time, at least Titus was there to calm me down. Now he's at his lack-of-internet mom's house where I can't get to him. It's probably better since now he's going through enough, he doesn't need my crap anymore. I'm really concerned. I hope he knows how much I care about him ~_~.

I don't really even need love in my life. I was happy without it, I could still be happy without it. I don't really have much to say right now, other than I don't know why I'm writing this. It will only make things worse.

Maybe I'll talk about my day. It was very "Stupiiiiid". I woke up and had the "stupppiiiiiiidest" cramps and rolled around in bed and moaned for about an hour. Then I saw a really "stupiiiiiid" movie with Jeneher. I have not found that stupiiiiiiiid Jeferry on today at all. He must still be busy crying since me and Adrienne left him XD. Instead I went on that Stupiiiiiiid AIM where someone stupiiiiiiid angered me >;o.

Wasn't that so stupiiiiiiiid? Guess what? YOU ARE STUPPPIIIIIID! I bet you didn't see that one coming, har!

"Jeferry's STUPIIIIIID" *giggles*. I better go to sleep while I feel better XD.

On Wednesday I went to the Wednesday Night Market with Wei-Chen and , of course, bought my HONEY STICKS, but also saw Keith! YAY ^_^. He insisted I glomp him XD, since when did he become so GLOMPY? Then we went to hang out at Kanoe's... I got bored so I turned on AIM where I talked to about 5 people and Kopa harrassed them. Then he showed me this UBER COOL COMMIE POSE you do with your hands ! The HAMMA is making a fist, and the SICKLE is curving your hand then you put 'em together and BAM ! SICK, I TELL YOU. Someday I'm going to bring my commie flag over so Kopa and I could pose with it and make a picture : ).

I also borrowed Wind Waker from Po-Hsiangmon and have been having lots of fun with it ^_^. I really suck at like all Zelda games, but he gave me the GUIDE and it has proved itself to be quite useful. I'm going to need to use it a third time today -_-. Koopa was telling me how he's played the game through twice and has never died and I've died like 5 times just this far ... -_-. Why do I have to suck so much *_*.

Also my best MANLY friend has been dissapeared for a while ;_;. I have been quite bored without him and hope he shows his sorry arse back soon >:O. I've decided to wait on him until Friday and then he will get TEH ARKEE PHONE CALL ^_^*.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Snapple Real Fact

# 131. The Koala Bear and the Human are the only animals with distinct finger prints.

I remember a long time ago, in eighth grade, I found the very first Team Rocket website almost solely devoted to fanfiction. It’s still around, found out it celebrated its 4th anniversary. http://come.to/JessieRocket Damn, I was around there that whole entire time. JessieRocket’s site opened up these wonderful doors of internet reading to me, and I spent hours reading fics from her site, and from talented authors I initially found there. Well, one day she got a message board put up. I HAD to go in there and post, post… The message board was open the end of ’99…. I was happy to know I could use just the name “Arcanine” and off I went posting… I was probably the first member that stuck it all the way though. It was my first message board, and Shadowcat’s first too. Tiffany was the other founding sister, a “Birth of Mewtwo” connoisseur. I miss Tiffy ;_;. I was very welcoming to newbies, and was VERY much into that board. Shadowcat was my first internet friend and I just made a whole bunch more ^_^. I soon became known , or maybe it was a self-imposed title, as the “nick-name giver”. Such things were necessary when some people posted known as “I luv james” ^_-. Well, maybe that doesn’t make too much sense because “Shadowkitty” turned out to be longer than her real name… It was quite a girly message board, only two boys ever stuck around. I didn’t want too many of them there though. The first guy on the board was a spammer who started a flame-war between cat and dog pokemon... I never welcomed anyone I thought was a male ^_^*. Heheh. Sgt Giggles was quite cool though, I remember that much. Mushu came a long while later, brought by his sister. JessieRocket barely showed herself there and I think the fist ever role play was about what happened to her during her long disappearances. Well, one day she came on and decided to make Shads and I mods. I barely had to ever do anything except occasionally clear up advertisements just because no one ever fought or anything. The board also inspired me to take an HTML class at the JC. My page was about Seymour the scientist, the nerd who showed up in one pokemon episode XD. It taught me the most important codes I’d ever want to use, link and image ^_^*. Eventually, a time came when I decided “OMG, THIS PLACE NEEDS A NAME.” I think it was PFT who came up with “Rocket Ramble Land”. Maybe Meerey…

One of my favorite memories is being so board that my spammer tendencies took over for one topic and I sent around 20 e-mails to my inbox through them. I remember Shads saying later that she read all of them XD. I also remember Tiffany’s story about the time she chased the mailman across the street, waiting for her Birth of Mewtwo to come in XD. She later sent me a tape of it… The roleplays mildly amused me, I didn’t participate much in them, or the kitties. ANYA’S SITE WITH BOB THE CUBONE. Apparently Shads got pregnant with someone and had kittens all the members could adopt. The quizzes about ourselves were also fun! Well, one day coolboard decided to shut down -_-. I decided to bring it on myself to relocate to ezboard. It was unfavorable to some, but just about everyone made it over. The board went into decline after that and most barely came. I said I’d be the last founding sister ever to leave, and I guess I took it upon myself. There was some protestation to my closing it, mainly from Windie, but I think most understood. It also came from selfish reasons, I didn’t want to keep it up because I kept visiting it while no one wanted to talk anymore. I had started enjoying THRQ a bit and found out, that yes, I was paying more attention to it than ramble land. Out of everybody, now I keep in semi-contact with Windie and Dyani, thorough LJ ^_^*. It’s so neat how Windie and Arti met in real life. Waaw… I wish I could meet internet friends. Of course, it doesn’t help that half the ramble land members live in England, hehe.
Sometimes, I miss it very much, like now. But that part of my life is gone and I can’t really change it now. I think I’m doing this because I can’t seem to remember enough about it right now… Not as much as I like to anyway. Back then, at least I fit in somewhere. I seem to be a little lost duckling ^_^*. I never really fit in very well with the TRHQ message board folks, and I started visiting chat regularly for the first time only recently, now I don’t really anymore >_<. I know I’m going to leave sometime, sometime… but I don’t know when or how. And I don’t know what will become of me. I never took it upon myself to learn how to draw, and if you don’t know how to draw, YOU’RE A LOST SOUL IN THE ANAIM WURLD. Well, I did make new friends on AIM ^_^*. How interesting. I’m just wondering how long I can keep them.

I just realized that this is the first time I've EVER not had cramps during teh menstration. What happened? 0_o I think it might have been the massive amounts of chocolate I've consumed as of late. Also... my period has been weird this round...It's been three days and I'm barely bleeding at all. Usually it lasta at least 5-6 days... 0_o. And it's not like I bled a whole lot the first two days... And I don't care how many boyz I've recruited to read this either >:O. They can just SUFFER. HAHAHAHA.

Anyway, in other news, yesterday was the last class of Japanese ;_;. I'll miss it a whole lot. Especially Patric-san, David-san, and Don Jay ;_;. A bunch of 40 + year old men, but they were so cool and funny. Patrick let me borrow andc directed me to so many good animes, and David san. I'll miss how much he made me laugh with his samurai/old Japanese men impressions XD. My dad came yesterday because he wanted to hear my presentation on choclate and at the end Don Jay told him "You have a very nice daugher, very nice". I was all "hehe *blushie*" #^_^#.

I'm at school and lunch's started. No more for now.

I had a whole week to finish the engrish book , and I start reading it half an hour ago. I'm starting to feel it return to me, I can feel the anxiety, my head is starting to morph into that cloudy stage...

I'm not sure why I didn't read the book. I knew I didn't like it, I don't like this book. Alexis told me a few days ago "It's James Joyce, I told you to run for it if you ever encounter James Joyce!" Or something like that XD. NOW I remember! Well , anyway, I didn't read him at all last week and I think I was supposed to finish the book, or something crazy like that. SO now I'm very shaky thinking about it, and trying to read it. I know it's my fault I put myself into this, but I still can't help but to find someone/something else to blame.

I go to sparknotes and then fall into the spell that my engrish teacher created. "I challenge you all NOT to use sparknotes, don't let some literary guru think for you!" Okay, so I'm not reading that because I feel dirty someway...

There are a bumber of things I could do right now.

1. Go on AIM and try not to mention this or how horrible I feel.

2. Go on AIM and talk to someone about how horrible I feel .

3. Uninstall AIM

4. Go to bed.

5. Try to read this book some more.

I feel pretty calm right now, but I know that as soon as I even TRY to read the book, I will start again. I wish I didn't have mental problems, not all people have them. Most know how to deal with stress/anxiety. I wish I knew their secrets XD.

Well, looking at my options, I'm not sure which path I want to take. Going to bed would be the best choice, but it's almost midnight and I've been going to bed later... I probably won't be able to sleep because of the book and time would be wasted on trying to fall asleep.

Meh, uninstalling AIM would be just stupid and I'd reinstall it the next day or something -_-. Of course, I blame it for everything, as usual...

Going on AIM would... it could make me feel better, but I would be losing sleep.

I have tried reading the book, yeah. There is no way I could calm myself down in time to get anything done.

*stupid cryptic, HAH!*

Je ne me souviens pas que Titus voulait se coucher! TROIS HEURES?! C'EST UNMANLY. Je suis triste parce-que j'ai voulu parler avec lui ;__;.