It's back . And I'm proud, yo ^_-

Edit: updatorz...

Atty: Majestic Arcanine, get help. now. (paraphrased...)

MajesticArcanine: *TACKLE GLOMP*
Amada: LOL. Heya. XD What's up?
MajesticArcanine: I hope you're here
MajesticArcanine: OMG
MajesticArcanine: this is.
MajesticArcanine: shit.
MajesticArcanine: wait a sec
MajesticArcanine: http://pub26.ezboard.com/fteamrocketheadquaterssfrm3
MajesticArcanine: tell me what you think
Amada: LOL.
Amada: bad girl
Amada: bad bad girl
MajesticArcanine: *g*
Amada: *g*
Amada: ?
Amada: XD;
MajesticArcanine: I thought you'd be the only one who would be amused by it
Amada: LOL, it is kind of funny. :X
MajesticArcanine: it means *grin* heh
Amada: butttt
MajesticArcanine: I know XD
Amada: ohhh so mean.
MajesticArcanine: but baaaad?
MajesticArcanine: *g*
MajesticArcanine: I know
Amada: Bad to the bone.
Amada: LOL. Corny saying. [:
MajesticArcanine: you are too much of an influence on me, I think ^_-
Amada: XD; I'd hope not. :3
MajesticArcanine: except, you're not really a spammer

Hehe, this one was kinda funny.

MajesticArcanine: http://pub26.ezboard.com/fteamrocketheadquaterssfrm3
TCs Art of PiMP: hey its the forum 8-)
MajesticArcanine: yes it is, yo
MajesticArcanine: what do you think about "the forum"? ^_-
TCs Art of PiMP: it's dead
MajesticArcanine: did you go there?
TCs Art of PiMP: oh wait
MajesticArcanine: Because I kind of livened it up a little
TCs Art of PiMP: you spammed .-_.-
MajesticArcanine: yuuuuup

I rather liked Koji's too... but that's in the ikkle comment box ~_~. More updates later as more people get online.

My journal says I'm 53% feminine.

What does your LJ writing style say about your gender?

LJ Gender Tool by hutta

Interesting, actually, that quiz describes me really well. So... Brandon's coming over tomorrow... today, I was BISSY. was a mallrat TWICE with two different people. bought my self crazy things... have NO money left... My collection? Well, it included...

LUNCH- a ham sammich from the ham store...
An EDWARD PLUSH- I knew I HAD to get it the moment I laid eyes on it 0_o
A b-day present- for Aubrey...
A calendar- for college (LOTR2)
A book- Clan of the Cave Bear. Hey, I thought of Shads... I remember Shads liking this book a lot and well, it looked interesting to me.
A CYNDI LAUPER CD- hey, shut up, I love her XD

In the meantime, I packed just about ALL my stuff... so it's laying around in a bunch of garbage bags, heh... yeah, I'm like, totally ghetto here. I also bought a storage thing that Titus reccomended for me. Since my books I'm taking are one whole garbage bag themselves 0_o. More are staying put, heh. Adrienne and I also went on an INSANE joyride, it was greeeeeat. Couldn't have happened at a better time.

and OH- important part... Shivs and I discussed politics on the phone for half an hour. Mainly about Marxism and shit... we both respected each other's opinions though... it was pretty cool *cough*unlikejeferry*cough*. Anyway, I hope to do that some more. Shivs promised to read Red Scarf Girl for me, while I promised him I'd read some articles about Stalin for him. <3s Shivs. I wish I coulda talked with him longer.

When I came back, the very thing I was dreading(and I knew it was coming) happened, an insane 4-something hour fight. I guess that two very small sentances in an LJ entry tends to do this to this person. *shrugs*. Perhaps I'll call them tomorrow and attempt to put things at ease. Right now, I don't feel like talking anymore... about anything -_-.

As for my story, it's done and posted at fanfiction.net. Had a few more people read it, they love it and such. Heh, I'm proooooud ^_^. So I'm hoping it will get good reviews and everything. In the meantime, I'll post the link later, so everyone can read it after it's good and forgotton XD.

Mostly about my Adventures in Wind Waker. In this game, I have been exploring a LOT... gotten lots more hearts and stuff... and more items too! In my last game I kind of just quickly went through it and did little of the miniquests... in this game a picto box was just *handed* to me, and I quickly became a big-time shutter bug XD. Although I have lack of interest to take pics of the adult characters in the game, I've been keeping up with the baddies really well, and there are only three of them that I haven't taken pics of - the grabby hand thingy, the Kagrok(sp), and the weird insect that sprays the little balls at me. Just today I've discovered the legendary pictographs... and been messing around with that. Also, in my old game I didn't learn the Song of Passing.... it makes pictographing a LOOOT easier XD. Also, this time I've noticed some more songs that I really like: the song in the VERY beginning, when the tale of the legend is being told...., the song in the earth temple when Link's summoning the Zora sage, same goes for the Koroki Wind Temple sage. And that's all I want... BTW... the Zoras look even BETTER in this game!! I'm disappointed they weren't in it -_-. I htink they were more or less replaced by the Rito... There is only one Zora and she is gorgeous ^_^. COuld possibly be the prettiest char. in the game. Gotta ask someone for those when I get to college. I want nothing else on this computer 0_o.

And speaking of college... I'm slowly getting prepared. My mom has bought me the rest pretty much everything I'll need today. I'm leaving on Saturday ~_~. I'm scared and worried and stuff... and have been SHARING these FEELINGS with some online people... and they tell me I'll be fine and I'll get to visit my parents and stuff. I still think I'll be homesick, though ;_;. I'll miss my hoooooome and my friends ~_~. I'll try to visit my parents every weekend at first... this will help me get used to things better.

Anything else to say? I'm visiting Piner in the morning. *loooks at time* Er... yes, there WILL be naptime tomorrow 0____o. There always is when I get fewer than about 7 hours of sleep ^_^*. I can't wait to visit my teacher and band members and stuff. It'll be fuuun ^_^. I'll just sit and listen to the band play for an hour and a half XD. Scotto says that 60% of the band is freshmen 0_o. I can't believe it. I'll have to see it for myself, heh *prepares to be overwhelmed*. One more last tidbit.. I keep trying to make friends from TRHQ XD. I'm not sure if Koji and I will be friends or not... but I'll be happy to just be a "casual acquaintance who randomly comments in LJs" XD. Ok, time to sleep. night, all.

Be prepared for looooooots of entries in the next day or two 0_o. I'm planning like 5 or more. And there will be some VARIATION too! Be expecting some picts, Lizar SINGING *gasp* old Russian folksongs, a sort of list, FUTURE DECISIONS, and... some INSIGHTS into my personal life for those of you nosy slices who care.... Right now, though, I'm too tired to do much of anything. I've been getting used to East Coast time for the last week... and beein going to bed before midnight.... so for a few days I will be sleeping at UNIMAGINABLE times 0_o. Guess I won't get to talk to you for a while then, Titus XD. I've met just about all the rest of you peeps online for the last hour. One of you, I don't plan to talk to for weeks/months, but right now, I don't really care : ).

And just as a TEASER for what is in store.... I have ONE PIC of this really ugly BEACHED WHALE that I found on the Brighton Beach, Brooklyn. SO... FUGLY! XD.

MajesticArcanine: http://www.geocities.com/drmaqueen@sbcglobal.net/Sunbathing.txt
MajesticArcanine: LOOK!
MajesticArcanine: it's a beached whale!
MourningSeraph: My mouse is brokeded
MourningSeraph: I can't click it ;_;
MajesticArcanine: ;_;
MajesticArcanine: really? 0_o
MajesticArcanine: jeez
MourningSeraph: yeah
MajesticArcanine: how do you get by?
MourningSeraph: Tab + Alt
MourningSeraph: that's how I'm navigating all my IM windows
MourningSeraph: It just... stopped working
MajesticArcanine: 0__o
MajesticArcanine: oops...
MajesticArcanine: stupid computer -_-
MourningSeraph: yeah
MourningSeraph: what is it a piccie of?
MourningSeraph: There
MajesticArcanine: me XD
MourningSeraph: Oh teh no O_O
MajesticArcanine: a really ugly one! XD

MourningSeraph: poor Arky is teh dead ;_;
MajesticArcanine: so don't worry, you aren't missing out on much
MajesticArcanine: LOL!
MajesticArcanine: I know XD
MajesticArcanine: *ded*
MourningSeraph: (my mouse suddenly started working again)
MajesticArcanine: cool!
MourningSeraph: hmm, that is a nice ass though.
MourningSeraph: ^_~
MourningSeraph: What beach is that on?
MajesticArcanine: one close to here : )
MajesticArcanine: THANK YOU
MajesticArcanine: for the lovely comments about my ass ^_^
MourningSeraph: Your father is obviously wrong about it being fat and disgusting
MajesticArcanine: aww
MourningSeraph: THERE AIN'T NOTHIN' WRONG WITH BIG BOOTY, MOTHAFUCKA
MajesticArcanine: thanks ;_;
MajesticArcanine: LOL!
MourningSeraph: Seriously, I know it sounds weird coming from a white guy
MourningSeraph: but I like back.
MajesticArcanine: *jiggles her arse for you *
MajesticArcanine: *gets all shy* 0____0
MourningSeraph: ^____^
MourningSeraph: Yay!
MajesticArcanine: *cuddle*
MourningSeraph: *cuddle*

*snickers* XDDRocketKoopa: well it is true.. that is a pretty fine-looking ass
MajesticArcanine: LOL
MajesticArcanine: thanks XD
RocketKoopa: but you kinda look like you tripped over
MajesticArcanine: LOL!
MajesticArcanine: it's so funny XD
RocketKoopa: there's a seagull checking out your booty

Now why on earth does everyone think the Beached Whale have a nice booty? >:O. Latrz, slices(I sound too much like Shivs sometimes 0_o)!

I feel very weird lately. I have horrible mood swings. I don't really know why. Some very small thing either makes me very angry, or worse angry enough to go lay on my bed, stare at the celing and cry from anger. At least I didn't do that today. Jeferry would have brought me to it too, except I left before I got angry enough. And he didn't really even do anything, he was just acting like himself, which is really enough to piss me off sometimes. I'm sorry. So then I listened to a bunch of U2 songs in a row which made me feel better. After I had enough of that, I strolled into my folder labled "English Songs", hehe, and found a song I didn't know "'Bad'? What is this?" I say and open it. "It sounds like U2! WHOA, IT'S THAT SONG TG SENT ME MONTHS AGO." It DID turn out to be U2 XD. But I think it was "Come on Eileen" that made me the happiest in that sudden ENGLISH-SONG-SPLURG. Hehe, TG sent me that too. Thank you. It is so freaken cute. I finally found the lyrics to it after barely understanding a word of it got to me.

I am starting work on wednesday. I am so afraid it will drain me. I will be working full time for the 2 weeks the fair is going on. 12 -8 pm 0_o. This also means my weekends are completely shot. I only get Tuesdays off. Oh well, at least I will get about $700 by the end of it all. To someone who has never worked a day in her life before, this is a shitload of money. But in reality, I know it really isn't, heh. Today it has been pretty cool, but I think the 90 degree heat will start up again fairly soon. It does not sound appealing working ouside in that weather -_-.

Yesterday I spent 5 or so hours getting people to record stuff for me in my HAM INTARVIEW SPECTAKULARE. It was most glorious indeed. I'm too lazy to upload it because I think I sent this to EVERYONE and it's no longer needed. Wait, there are some people who read this and may want it ^_^**. Uh, comment me if this is the case (Dyani, Windie?). Instead, I'll gather some of my favorite QUOTES

"AH HE'S A GOOD BLOKE"
- Koop

" THAT'S SO... EWW!"
-Mah Kube

"What are you, some kind of like deranged meat mistress out to get peoples' opinions on this crap?"
-Titus

"That other guy? That other guy, he's RIGHT. Ham does suck the big one. OH. MY. GOD."
-... Titus XD

Hehe... I am amused. I gotta do another one of these again. Koop's already asking me when it'll be and he wants to not be an Australian next time, heh. I just got to... think of a TOPIC. I guess that is easy enough. *snickers* I just had a bad thought "What you do you think about penises?" XDD. I REALLY doubt I'd get as many people willing to give me files about that XD.

Monday:

That was pretty fun.

I had a history test, which meant I didn't spend that much time in history class, and she chose the easiest essay question to write about. It was about woman at the turn of the century, and her being a woman, she was obviously interested in it because she talked an awful lot about it ^_^*. I only used my notes to prepare for that essay.

I talked to Tuffie on the phone XD. It was pretty fun, she's cute and YES, she warned me about being giggly and it was fun ^_^. We talked about how she wanted to buy out Otakon along with all its workers and pay them with pocky. Then she talked about paying them with segments of pocky and I said the workers would UNIONIZE into a mass pocky union! ehehe. Hmm, also we made up LOTR hybrids and called them Elflits after Arwen mated with Frodo XD. Of course, Legolas had to get Aragorn, ehehe.
And apparently I remind her of a friend named "Stephanie" XD. She kept going "OMG, YOU JUST DID A STEPHANIE THING!" XDD.

Later on, Aubrey took me to the One More Time Band rehersal and we listened to the new Weird Al CD the way there ^_^. The only other saxophone player was this little 9 year old kid on alto 0_o. Hehe, I think he tried to keep up pretty well, I'd say. Almost all of the songs were disney-oriented for some reason and I liked my Part in Lion King. I got complimented for playing it well XD. Then we went to get ice cream...

Um, I got home and talked to Jeferry. He found some EXCELLENT pr0n for me and now I<3 him ^___^. I had 4 orgies that day... -_-. *AHEM* anyway...

Today was boring. Did ANOTHER bad, JC band, that one isn't really as fun. We play a lot of boring music, and it's mostly sight reading, so I struggle over the rhythems ~_~.

Yeah, Hearst Castle was the destination on Tuesday... I have seen a LOT of castles in England and France, and I must say that W.R Hearst's Castle was nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing could beat the beauty of Leed's castle in England. That has to be my favorite one ever.

So W.R Hearst was a Publishing tycoon who built his private estate up here in the 30s. He hired a female architect by the name of Jullia Morgan to head off the project. The insides of it were very similar to what I've seen in England, the dark rooms and all. The outside pool was pretty gorgeous, though, and he had his own cinema inside his house too XD.

Hmm... so today I went to see Hulk with Jeneher. GOOD MOVIE. Better than I thought it would be. Though it should be called "The Incredible BOUNCING Hulk" because he got around largely through BOUNCING all over the place. Man could he bounce high! I think Ang Lee likes his characters jumping like that, Crouching Tiger, heh. We had to wash this car for her dad, though, because I slept in for the original time, and she could only get that offer. It was HOT and I didn't have my bathing suit like her ~_~.

What else... Yesterday I called TG and had fun with that, so I bought a bigger phone card. I called Titus today, and should call Shivs tomorrow ^_^. I've never heard Shivs's voice before. I bet it's cute XD. TG's voice is ubercute XD.

And, I got my first savings account... yey ^_^.

I'm feeling better because I guess, I don't have any ore exams to complete and we aren't going to do much of anything else in english class. I'm still paranoid ofver college... but it won't start until the 20th of September( which also means I get to stay home for my birthday!) and I have time to prepare myself a bit for that ~_~. This no-job this is starting to irritate me a bit. I want one ;_;. A non-fast-food one would be nice. Other than that, not much has happened.

Scoggy told me to kiss Duane today and it was the first time I was DRAGGED to see him. Hehe, who knows, I might actually do it some day ^_-. He ran away , of course. Rarg.

I voice chatted with Chelz and Titus for the first time yesterday. Chelz directed me to a real cool program! While talking to Titus, we came up with this INGENIOUS creation



IT SHALL NOW BELONG IN MY SIG.

I think that is all for today.

Yep, I dragged Alexis to see Spirited Away. w00t! Of course she loved it ^_-. Who can't not love it?! Um... there was absolutely NO ONE in the theater, so we kind of sprawled ourselves in the aisle and had fun XD. I almost cried towards the end ;__;. The part when Haku changed back to his human form and the two of them were floating in the sky while Chihiro told him his true name. I LOVE THAT MOVIE! XD.

I got a little excited , though 0_o. Somehow, I got very hyper and couldn't contain myself... so I had to start running around the theater. It's the only thing that helps sometimes, I have these sudden urges to RUN. At school, when I get like that, I start ... running on my bench XD. Hehe, sometimes my friends make fun of me, saying I'm "racing against myself" XD. It gets me attention. "You're losing to yourself, you better catch up!" hehe... I won't be able to do it for my whole life, might as well take advantage now.

What else... hmm... I'm supposed to call an intarnet frend. I hate calling people, really. I have absolutely NO idea why calling people for the first time is one of my greatest phobias. I feel kind bad though, if they were expecting my call >_<. I mean, it's not like I hate talking to people on the phone, but I just hate calling them XD. I... MUST... GET OVER MY PH33R SOMEHOW!

thatizall today, I think....

I

HATE

MY

LIFE

I've debated doing this for a long time. Chances are that if I leave this unprivate someone will mention it and I'll just private it after everyone inclusing the few stalkers have seen this.

This is the 2 week anniversary of the 2003 depression spectaculaire. The first session lasted for all of February and ended as I got sick and thought nothing about school. Session number 2 started two TUESDAYS ago when my horomones were on and I listened to someone talk about something or other morbid/depressing. I only fall into this when that happens. Someone is sad/depressed while I am and I get to hear about it. I've always thought of myself as a strong person, but I guess my psyche can't withstand this. It's worse than ever this time. I hate it.

I hate the way that my brain cannot function at all. I've turned completely stupid. It takes me 3 times as long to do anything and everything I used to know, I've forgotton. That's what I hate most of all, how stupid I am. Right now I'm even thinking of something to write. This shouldn't be so hard, I hate about 380964235097 different things about my life, I just can't arrange any of this in a comprehensible order. I know that I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed, but I know I'm pretty quick and smart, normally. Now, it seems as though this is my normal state and I have to get used to it.Maybe I've never been smart in the first place, and I only realize that now. Everyone in that damned AP Engrish class is myuch smarter than me. I hate that class. I hate how everything I do for it, all the impossible homework I stress over becomes meaningless as I findout that it doesn't matter or the teacher doesn't collect it. What I *don't* do counts, which is why I'm paranoid I'm failing that class.

For all of this spring semester, my life has involved me stressing over homework. That's it. That's all I've been doing for the past 2 weeks. It's gotten bad. Because I can barely get anything done. I don't do anything I want, nothing I care about. I can't concentrate enough to read, I don't play videogames, I don't chat on IM often at all, I don't write because I've lost the ability again, I don't watch any TV/movies. All it's been is homework. I think it comes from the past. When my parents throw fits if I ever got a grade of a C. It happened the first time in that AP engrish class. Maybe because of that I'm like this. The same thing happened during my lovely SAT sessions last year. My parents paid big fucking bling bling for me to take the damn SAT prep class which just fucked me up. I could blame them. It's more me though. And my problem with worrying. I worry about everything there is to worry about.

I'm so tired. I've been going to bed at 11 but still am so tired. It's not 11 now, it's 11:30. And I have homework to do that is not even important and that could probably be done tomorrow in band if my band director bothers to show up. I'm tired. Very tired. More tired than usual. Before this year, I'd never even think of going on the internet this late. I don't really do anything on the internet except talk to 3 internet friends and a few RL friends. I can't keep friends for very long. I always let them drift away from me somehow. I feel closer to these internet friends, but in the end, most likely in less than a year, they will all drift apart from me as well. And when I go off to college, my links to my RL friends will be too. I guess then I'll lose the RL friends first because I can have internet in college.

Oh, this is actually starting to come together really well. I don't want to go to college. I want to hang around home and the JC for a few years and find out what I want to do, slowly working my way to independence. However, my mom basically yelled/lectured at me that she'd have to get her arms cut off before I would go to the JC. Instead I'll be sprung into an unfamiliar situation, not wanting to leave the comforts of my house and being WAY , WAY too immature to function on my own. I've never worked and don't even have a license.

I don't know how to deal with stress at all, it seems. Having the minutest stress sends me spirling into this.

I'm getting too fucking tired and now don't remember what I have to say anymore. This will never end. Every little bad thing that happens to me seems like it's the end of the world. I think I must have gone underneath too many ladders because I have the worst luck. I lose everything. All I'll be thinking about is the homework that I haven't done and I'll just feel worse. The homework I haven't done and the badminton practice I haven't attended in like 3 weeks because of it and the Japanese class I'm the stupidest pupil in. I think that I don't bother to try in a class when I don't feel smart enough.

I feel guilty over everything. Everyone I've bashed before. Everything I remember that people probably forgot by now, I feel guilty over. From Intarnet friends, to stupid people I've bashed, to anyone I've bashed.

Damn tomorrow morning I'll feel like I could break down again. But I won't because it never comes out completely. It's always "almost crying" never *full* tears.

There is no reason for me to feel this bad. None at all. My parents are fucking rich and could buy me anything I want and send me to college without me having to work for it. It's so easy to putmyself in this hole. Hard as hell to get out.

It'd be nice to die now. Not that I'm yet suicidal, but I want to die by some freak accident.

I wish I wasn't so obsessed over Intarnet people. I think I'm going to misspell internet forever now.


This is becoming pointless. I feel worse, not better from this. I think that the soonest it will go away is spring break. Somewhere around the 20th of April. It's only the first. I have a long way.


I don't know what's good for myself. Nothing I do helps this, only makes it worse.

I can't talk very well at all. I don't know how to describe how I contribute to conversations anymore because it takes too much effort.

Fuck I'm about to have a fit over how I'll feel in the morning. I'm getting so sick of that feeling. Only during the one week depression break did I not feel like that. I have to go to school and feel worse and worse as the day goes on but no one knows .

My parents wouldn't even know until it got this bad again. My father doesn't even want to deal with it anymore and told me I was driving him mad and to stop it.Now I barely talk to my mother. These times are the only times I actually want affection. Great NOW I'm almost ready to have the bult up tears fall. When I want someone to hold me and tell me everything will be okay and they love me. I think that truly only internet people would want to do that for me right now. For a while, I sought affection from my parents, I've stopped now.

I thought this would end through PMS. But another Tuesday came. I hate Tuesdays.

I realized this stopped being coherent a long time ago.

There is no reason for me to feel like this, none at all. I wish I knew where the hell Shivs has been for the past... long time and I wish TG was on now. I will dread tomorrow morning.

I think this should end by spring break. that's about 20 days. Then I get to see how long I can go undepressed for.

It gets worse every year. Starting from 10th grade. Worse and worse. Damn.

I should have gone to bed hours ago. I don't know what's good for me. I'm repeating myself. It's time to slep for about 4 hours and... yeah. And all you stalkers, @*(@^@)(+&$#(&%$&$#). And I mean that in the most respectable way of course.