I'm tired...

Very tired. I'm sick of not being able to sleep. I'm sick of crying from this and trying to hide it from my roomate. I'm afraid soon that I'll be like Jeferry and be on trazadone, or some other perscription shit just to get to sleep. Sleep is very important to me, if I don't get enough of it, I fall into depression, extremely easily. I don't want to repeat last year, at all. I want to prevent it in any way, but it all seems inevitable... It's like I'm destined to be in depression for a certain amount of time every year. Last year I couldn't sleep neither, but at least I had my *own* bed and I had my own settings. Now I always deal with backround noise and light that my roomate must keep on. This is why I tried to get a single dorm... I knew I'd have trouble dealing with this. Fuck, if this doesn't change, I'll go to the fucking psychiatrist, make them diagnose me with insomnia, and force them to relocate me to my very own dorm. I started thinking about how much I like it better at home , started crying and couldn't stop. Then I came online. I've pretty much stopped.

I want to go home -_-. Or at least, transport myself home every night so I can sleep. Or at least, I want to be someplace VERY quiet, dark, comfortable, and VERY QUIET so I can have a regular sleep. Thanksgiving break is too far off -_-

OH SO MUCH.

I feel better. No worries... HELP WAS GIVEN AND RECEIVED. Er, moving along. Lots of random important tidbits I've neglected to mention.

First, some RANDOM PERSON IMed me again. I love it when this happens ^_^. Er, we've already stopped talking. They seem strangely familiar... gah, naw they HAVE to be random for it to bask in greatness!

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There was something I wrote in a journal specifically to post here sometime, but I've forgotten about it until now *digs around for journal*. Ah, here we go ^_^. Er, it basically goes like this. I was sitting alone in the middle of downtown just kinda spacing out and looking at this pidgeon walking around in front of me. Suddenly some dude(looked rather hobo/hippieish) came up to me and just started talking. This is what he said....

"One day I was jogging at the beach and saw this little bird, its foot was entangled in this fishining line. I crouched down by it, it couldn't struggle much and picked it up so it lay in my hands. There were some ticks and fleas crawling all o ver its body, most people would feel its too gross to even look at, but I didn't really mind it. I just slowly untangled the line from its feet and held it in my palms. The bird soon quickly stood up in my hands, off its back and after a moment, it flew a few feet away. Then it stopped, and looked at me. I just looked at it and there was this time the bird and I stared at each other... The way you are sitting there, looking at this bird in front of you just reminded me of that moment"

Then he left ^_^*. I didn't really have anything to say.

I'm not sure if this other instance is worth mentioning, but I was kinda shaken for a day or so. So I met this guy while waiting for the late night bus after werk... He was nice and all. His name was "Dragon", was 30, and was a massage therapist. We got to talking and saw we had quite a bit in common. Then he told me he was pretty much anti-social and wasn't into the kinda shit his friends were in- boozing and partying... He said I seemed intelligent and there weren't a lot of intelligent people he knew ^_^*. He seemed to like me and told me really personal stuff because .... hell if I know why. But it was personal. Then he asked me to hang out and go arcading with him -_-. I made up some BS excuse and thankfully the bus came at that point. But I felt bad anyway ;_;. I still wonder if I would have agreed to hang out with him if he'd been 10 years younger ^_^*. Anyway.... I have a *POLITICAL RANT* planned, so some of you can be forewarned... The topic will be "VIOLENT PROTESTING". Er, should be interesting. Came out of an argument Shivs and I had on the phone one day -_-. I wish Shivs would still be into LJ : (.