Soul Calibur

Ah... the best fucking piece of art I have seen in a loooong time. I swear, last time I was so obsessed with a fighting game was when I first bought my N64 way back when and popped Super Smash Brothers in for the first time. Soul Calibur was unlike any arcade game I have ever player. Firstly, as Titus said, the game is all about timing. And with me, it's great, because my reflexes are good and timing is decent too. However, there are no shitty combos to learn on it and no zillion-button moves. I pulled a massive combo on people just hitting my joystick and K on them. I swear, I beat the effing game first time through. Don't remember the name of the character I used, but it was the ninja girl. I woulda spent more time there, but the arcade closed at 11 and I got there really late. Literally they turned off all the machines the MINUTE after I beat Nightmare.... I believe he was the last boss. Yes, this jewel will be revisted by me in the arcade again. i'll make sure to take Alex with me next time, couldn't seem to find him today....

And about my journey there- well O_O. First of all, I effing ran into a MEXICAN PIMP DADDY wanting my "business". I told him I didn't fucking want to get raped so once again, "NO THANK YOU". I bet some of you guys think I dress like a slut to promote this behavior or some shit- I dressed like an effing hobo today. I wore ugly track suit bottoms that my badminton coach gave to me way back when, and one of my oldest, most favorite, grundgiest teeshirts. (RL buddies- it was the black "Je suis un genie" one in case you wanna know). Nope, just WALKING by myself gets me this whorish outlook on life! Fuck, this never happened to me in Santa Rosa ;_;. I don't wanna be a fucking whore, leave me along you fucking horney pedos. I am BARELY above legal age to even HAVE sex >:O. Bah, sorry I worried you Titus, and Koop too. I'm ok, I can take care of myself, but I just don't like being looked on as some sort of whore- for whatever reason they have.

By the way, it appears as though TG, Koop, and Titus are in some sort of contest to see me! XD. Okay, no one ever said that to me, it's just that they all seem to wanna come someday... er, TG is questionable, but I assume he wants to see me anyway. Right now, it appears as though TITUS has the lead- looking at a NOVEMBER deadline. Koop's uncertain- few months I think.... I can't say I'm impartial to this race, my heart tells me I want TG to win. Well, I really wouldn't mind whomever won, but I still wish TG would take first place, because he deserves to WIN THE TROPHY! XD. We were all talking about stuff we want to do. You can bet that Titus and I will spend loads of time in the arcade... Koop wants to spend time just exploring my town with me, and TG , well, i don't care what we do, just as long as someday he makes it over.

<3,

Arky

mini rambling.

Confidence? What inspires it? Forever, I must gloat that I have been a very confident person. The only exceptions are in my manic depression times. Basically that was all of last school year's semester, a few months 11th grade, and a few months 10th grade. One of the most AWFUL things depression does to me is just shatter my confidence. Suddenly I turn into one of those feeble-minded girls who wants nothing to do but curl up in the corner and do absolutely nothing. Perhaps cry, but you know.... people like me just don't know how to cry, maybe it's from years of training... of desensitizing our very nature, but it's no longer natural for me, it's not something I *do* for real. The very last time I believe it really happened was when my mother and I had a massive fight around 2 years ago and she was shipping me off to SAT prep class. Then I broke down in front of the two guys, my classmates, and the teacher. Obviously they wanted to know what the hell was wrong with me. After then, I made a silent oath to myself- never to cry, or at least to die trying before ANYONE would ever see me cry again. Then comes along TG and kind of wrecks those plans. He didn't mean it, and he meant the very best.... but I feel a little cheated in a way, still no one has ever seen me in tears, yet both him and Titus incited silent tears a few times down the road. Still I think what TG unintentionally did was better for me in the long run, I care about him deeply, even though quite a bit I don't feel he returns my feelings....

I kinda got off track... anyway, not crying gives me confidence.... so what else does? Ever since I was in elementary school, I was not a happy child. No one wanted to be my friend because I was different than the other kids- I did stuff on my own, I didn't want to listen to anyone. Hence why throughout those years I was punished for misbehaving FREQUENTLY. But from an early age I learned how to stick up for myself and not to let anyone tell me what to do... well, unless they were an adult. But I had few friends... they changed yearly until really I moved to california and became friends with Kaffi. This was the foundation for my confidence... even though I didn't know it at the time, it only grew as I became older.

Ksenia comes to me because she wants to learn why I act the way I do. She asks me questions all the time.. "Why are you so confident? Can you teach me? How can I be like you? My mother is so confident too, and she is well-liked, I want to be well liked too. Why don't you hang out with people you don't like when you said you judge no one? Do you ever feel lonely?" Is some of the stuff I get daily from her. Her roomate is really... shallow. She already went to spend the night with some guys in Cal Poly 0_o. And really other than me and her, Ksenia doesn't have anyone to talk to. She feels lonely, which I tell her is natural, we all feel a little lonely, but she thinks I'm fine just because I do things on my own just about all the time, unless I can find Alex to come with me XD. She is one of those girls who wants to do more and not be dependant on other people, but needs to work on it.

Sorry, rambling's over. Time to go to my onsite orientation. The hours are LONG today - 12-10 ... Hm, I hope I will like it and things will go well *stretchie* Later, folks.