RANT TIME!
Oct. 12th, 2002 04:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zaichikarkyI just came from Alexis's house and learned something NEW about Yamato that she wasn't gunna tell me, but I got her to tell me. I didn't want to, but told her he was just lying and didn't care to hear about it, so she told me anyway!
He was very angry or upset that I threatened to have him kicked out of my life FOREVER by telling my homophobic parents he's gay. I wanted him to be upset at the time, now I guess he's more upset with me than with me at him. I'm not even angry with him anymore. I'm not sure if I want to allow this to end our friendship. He's a guy, I've NEVER EVER kept close friendships with the race of men for very long. It goes back to the rant about Scoggily. I'm allowing Scoggily to be closer friends with me -__-. I should learn not to do that...
This one guy did a speech in class today , debating a speech that this girl did about what she hates most about guys: they don't understand females and can never understand us because they're different. I guess I sort of agreed with her, but then listened to the rebuttal : "I love girls because they're hard to understand and they're different". He went into how much he loved being around females and if he could melt a girl and inject her into his veins, he would take her as a drug. The metaphor sounded so weird, but I LOVED it 0__o. Yes, I too love males because they're so different from my girlfriends and my girlfriends are pretty different than me... I like Scoggily and Yamato a lot, but I don't want to get closer to them >_<. I know that eventually, I will grow apart from them, just because that has happened to every single male I befriend.
Omshiva is an example from the internet. I really liked talking to him during the revolution, it was a lot of fun. Eventually , the revolution ended and we kind of stopped talking... Then he took his "leave of absence" and this time, I thought he'd never return ;_;. So at the spur of the moment, I decided to IM him and ask him to return. Now we're becoming friends again... Who's to say he won't get tired of me again? I don't want to be sad later on because now I think we're closer than revolution time >_<.
And now speaking of internet friends, there is this PROBLEM I have with the internet... I keep thinking of Lietennant Charles Barkley from Star Trek 0__o. Okay... this dude was OBSESSED over the holodeck. It had some kind of psychological effect on him. I would be obsessed to... a world that goes the way I want it to go... does whatever I want it to do... deep stuff. He got therapy for it later though, but then he showed up on Star Trek Voyager and was trying to find a way to contact Voyager 0_o. In order to help him think, he designed a Voyager holodeck program and spent hours in it, talking with the crew. His superior officers thought he was having a relapse of his Holodeck obsession and told him to take a leave of absence 0__o. He almost didn't get to contact Voyager. I don't want to be like Barkley, I don't want to be emeressed in a world that is not real. I mean, the friends I have are real, but they're not. I know I'm not talking to little bytes of information when I communicate with them, but the truth is, I will probably never get to see them and know how they truly are...
Today, during my SAT, my mind started wandering because I was getting so tired and losing focus. A 90 question history test tends to do that. For some reason, I thought about Koopa for about 5 minutes before I came back on track. I don't even remember what it was about, I think how it would be like playing videogames with Koopa ^_^. Another one of my weird dreams is to play video games with a WORTHY opponent who is as good as me on select games. And after TG, Chelz, Koopa and I had that little chat a few days ago, I couldn't concentrate in school because I was worried about TG >_<. I think... I think too much 0_o. One part of me tells me I really shoudln't care about my internet friends so much, but another part of me wants just to talk to them all day long... I'm stuck between the two.
I think i need another leave of absence from the internet... I take them when I get bored of it from time to time, but right now, I'm in one of my phases that I just want to sit all day on it 0_o. My dad just LOVES to lecture me about how much I'm obsessed with the internet. Before, he set up this program which restricted my time on it, I sort of want him to do it again -___-. I think I need will power to keep away from it for a week at least... maybe more than that. Who knows, I think Yamato will not call me again, and now I think I'm too afraid to call him when I'm ready -_-.
I don't even know if this is about the internet. Had I not made friends through the internet, I wouldn't be so obsessed with it. I think I'll just take time away from IM... then I won't feel so guilty. But I will miss talking to the un-American peeps and TG on chat late at night... I like talking to them a lot >_<. I don't like it.
I'm glad I *think* not too many of my 'net friends read this thing... Omshi might since he mentioned something about it one day ^_^*, which is kind of bad since I used him as an example... only because he's a sole part of my internet obsession. Shivs is way too loveable ^_^. I hope you paid the most attention to that part, Shivs! If any of you do read... I'm sorry >_<, but I need a break before the internet ruins my life or something drastic -_-. Gah.. it will probably never even happen. I can't get away from it for too long at all.
He was very angry or upset that I threatened to have him kicked out of my life FOREVER by telling my homophobic parents he's gay. I wanted him to be upset at the time, now I guess he's more upset with me than with me at him. I'm not even angry with him anymore. I'm not sure if I want to allow this to end our friendship. He's a guy, I've NEVER EVER kept close friendships with the race of men for very long. It goes back to the rant about Scoggily. I'm allowing Scoggily to be closer friends with me -__-. I should learn not to do that...
This one guy did a speech in class today , debating a speech that this girl did about what she hates most about guys: they don't understand females and can never understand us because they're different. I guess I sort of agreed with her, but then listened to the rebuttal : "I love girls because they're hard to understand and they're different". He went into how much he loved being around females and if he could melt a girl and inject her into his veins, he would take her as a drug. The metaphor sounded so weird, but I LOVED it 0__o. Yes, I too love males because they're so different from my girlfriends and my girlfriends are pretty different than me... I like Scoggily and Yamato a lot, but I don't want to get closer to them >_<. I know that eventually, I will grow apart from them, just because that has happened to every single male I befriend.
Omshiva is an example from the internet. I really liked talking to him during the revolution, it was a lot of fun. Eventually , the revolution ended and we kind of stopped talking... Then he took his "leave of absence" and this time, I thought he'd never return ;_;. So at the spur of the moment, I decided to IM him and ask him to return. Now we're becoming friends again... Who's to say he won't get tired of me again? I don't want to be sad later on because now I think we're closer than revolution time >_<.
And now speaking of internet friends, there is this PROBLEM I have with the internet... I keep thinking of Lietennant Charles Barkley from Star Trek 0__o. Okay... this dude was OBSESSED over the holodeck. It had some kind of psychological effect on him. I would be obsessed to... a world that goes the way I want it to go... does whatever I want it to do... deep stuff. He got therapy for it later though, but then he showed up on Star Trek Voyager and was trying to find a way to contact Voyager 0_o. In order to help him think, he designed a Voyager holodeck program and spent hours in it, talking with the crew. His superior officers thought he was having a relapse of his Holodeck obsession and told him to take a leave of absence 0__o. He almost didn't get to contact Voyager. I don't want to be like Barkley, I don't want to be emeressed in a world that is not real. I mean, the friends I have are real, but they're not. I know I'm not talking to little bytes of information when I communicate with them, but the truth is, I will probably never get to see them and know how they truly are...
Today, during my SAT, my mind started wandering because I was getting so tired and losing focus. A 90 question history test tends to do that. For some reason, I thought about Koopa for about 5 minutes before I came back on track. I don't even remember what it was about, I think how it would be like playing videogames with Koopa ^_^. Another one of my weird dreams is to play video games with a WORTHY opponent who is as good as me on select games. And after TG, Chelz, Koopa and I had that little chat a few days ago, I couldn't concentrate in school because I was worried about TG >_<. I think... I think too much 0_o. One part of me tells me I really shoudln't care about my internet friends so much, but another part of me wants just to talk to them all day long... I'm stuck between the two.
I think i need another leave of absence from the internet... I take them when I get bored of it from time to time, but right now, I'm in one of my phases that I just want to sit all day on it 0_o. My dad just LOVES to lecture me about how much I'm obsessed with the internet. Before, he set up this program which restricted my time on it, I sort of want him to do it again -___-. I think I need will power to keep away from it for a week at least... maybe more than that. Who knows, I think Yamato will not call me again, and now I think I'm too afraid to call him when I'm ready -_-.
I don't even know if this is about the internet. Had I not made friends through the internet, I wouldn't be so obsessed with it. I think I'll just take time away from IM... then I won't feel so guilty. But I will miss talking to the un-American peeps and TG on chat late at night... I like talking to them a lot >_<. I don't like it.
I'm glad I *think* not too many of my 'net friends read this thing... Omshi might since he mentioned something about it one day ^_^*, which is kind of bad since I used him as an example... only because he's a sole part of my internet obsession. Shivs is way too loveable ^_^. I hope you paid the most attention to that part, Shivs! If any of you do read... I'm sorry >_<, but I need a break before the internet ruins my life or something drastic -_-. Gah.. it will probably never even happen. I can't get away from it for too long at all.
